Happy New Year's Eve's Eve!

      Today is the day before the day before the first day of the next year! Oh my gosh, that's just so incredible.
     Lessee, we have some news . . . Boardwalk Amblers Anonymous now has an official facebook page! Next maybe we'll add a Twitter, a google +, a pinterest, a myspace, a sina weibo, a . . . never mind. Just facebook for now.
    
     I think that's about all I have to say right now. Goodbye! Oh wait, what did you say? Oh? You were wondering how I survived the rest of the end of the world? I guess I did sort of stop explaining it. Where was I? Ah yes, I was buying cheese from the Wisconsin cheese man.
     He was an interesting fellow. A green hoodie with the hood up, big sunglasses with round lenses, and a heavy southern accent (southern as in south of Canada, obviously). He did seem a little shady, but he was actually really friendly and the cheese was good.
     Oh, I was farther than that? So sorry? Was I on the beach? Nope? Ohhhh, the volcano! Sorry, okay, so I was surrounded on all sides and about to be dumped into the lava, when suddenly, it erupted. Which would have been a problem, but I carried an emergency lava proof umbrella  in my pocket, so I just opened it up and everything was fine. Well, not for the punk squid squadron, or the  spat! onomatopoeia society, or the living rocks of personification, just for me and my umbrella.
      When the eruption was over I took out my cell phone and called the angry flying pigs, and they came over with their giant cannons and shot themselves at the volcano until they broke everyone out of the lava, and we took them to the hospital. I hear there were no casualties, except one worm, which was given a very touching funeral. We all wore our best brown clothes for it and wept threw mud around. He would have been proud to see it.
     Finally I got back to ohio, and since it was getting so late I decided to go straight home and meet my mom there. When I got home, our house was in quite a disarray, twenty two and a half hares were having a tea party, or so the flamingotunaman explained when I asked him what was going on.
     "Twenty two and a half hares? Did you kill one?" I began to panic.
     "Of course not, idiotic human, I'm pescetarian, I would never kill a hare! Besides, everyone knows a rabbit is half a hare," he rolled his eyes and glamorously spun around on his heels and took a proffered cup of tea from a crying hare. I looked around and realized all the hares were weeping and everyone was wearing a tuxedo, even flamingotunaman, but he didn't look even a tad upset.
     I went up to the first hare and ask him what was wrong. He just shook his head and sobbed harder. I went to the hare that was lounging sleepily on the couch and crying softer than the rest of them an ask him what the problem was.
     "Mister hare, whatever is the problem?" I asked. He jumped to his feet at the sound of my voice.
     "Well, don't be asking me miss, I'm just crying because they are, I never know what's going on so I just do what they do mostly," he explained then plopped back down on the couch. I found another hare and asked him, hoping the third time would be the charm. It wasn't, it took seven tries, for various reasons, then one pulled himself together and explained.
     "Today's my birthday. So it's not my unbirthday, and we were all born on the same day, so it's nobody's unbirthday, so we can't have an unbirthday celebration! It's the first day in hundreds of days that this has happened, we just don't know what to do!" he sobbed and sobbed.
     "Well, today is my unbirthday," I said and patted him soothingly. He immediately stopped crying and shouted with joy and announced it to all the others. They served me cake, sang the unbirthday song and gave me presents, but then the last one came up to me in the gift presentation line.
     "I don't have any gifts suitable for a girl," he said, "I ran out . . . I'm so very sorry," he began to cry.
     "Oh don't be sorry, it's fine! If you want to give me a marvelous present, you could pick up some of the mess in here, that would be amazing," I said, hoping he could maybe wipe the mud off the floor or something. He brightened up at the suggestion, and cleaned my house totally and completely and repaired everything, then all of a sudden, everybody disappeared. Then my mom came home.
     "How was your day?" she asked me.
     "Interesting," I replied. Nothing else unusual happened that day.

Okey dokes, there you go! Hope you enjoyed reading it, have a happy New Year's Eve tomorrow!